


Full Moon

by Vakaara



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Death, anxiety attack, distraught Goku, kakavege week, kakavege week 2018
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-06-07 12:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15219263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vakaara/pseuds/Vakaara
Summary: Goku’s tail is back, but he’s not sure he’s happy about it - especially now that he knows what he could become at the full moon.





	1. Chapter 1

Bulla’s shriek of delight pierced Goku’s ears, and he grinned as he watched her grabbing for color-changing balloon her father held out for her. Bulma had come up with some amazing toy designs to celebrate Bulla’s first birthday, but Goku was more interested in the soft smile settling on Vegeta’s face as he handed his daughter the balloon. Vegeta probably didn’t realize he was letting that expression show. 

Or maybe he did. Goku pushed his hand through the hair at the back of his head, repeating the familiar motion he used as a buffer even though there was no one questioning him. He’d thought Vegeta was much less closed off during their last training session with Whis. Could be wishful thinking. But Goku didn’t think he’d imagined the open pleasure on Vegeta’s face when they’d both regrown their tails. Become truly Saiyan again, to Vegeta’s eyes.

Goku leaned against the tree he’d settled under, pushed his boots slightly deeper into the grass. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about the tail. He’d missed it on a deep level, but now that he knew what it really meant he couldn’t truly feel happy about it. He couldn’t bring himself to cut it off again, either.

_  
“Do you know what this means, Kakarot?” Vegeta’s eyes were wide, his smile bordering the line between wonder and mania. “We’re whole again. True Saiyan warriors.”_

_Something lightening slid through Goku’s stomach as he watched Vegeta’s tail sweep a graceful upward arc behind Vegeta, and Goku’s fingers twitched with the urge to touch. Goku’s own tail jerked towards his knees. Vegeta noticed the motion and frowned._

_“Don’t fear this, Kakarot. It is how you were meant to be.”_

_“I know, Vegeta, I just,” Goku pressed his lips together and swallowed hard, “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”_

_Vegeta held Goku’s gaze for a long moment, until Goku squirmed and looked to the side. His face felt warm. Was he blushing under that stare?_

_“Tails are more than just destruction,” Vegeta said softly. Goku froze, uneasy movements of his tail and hands stilling completely. “They’re more than the Oozaru transformation, Kakarot.”_

_“What - “ Goku faced forward and dipped his chin to meet Vegeta’s eyes, “what else are they?”_

_Vegeta shook his head, tail making a sharp motion that Goku viscerally felt to mean discomfort. “It’s not something to be explained. You’ll feel it with time.” Lips curving into a smirk, then teeth showing in a grin. “Just be glad, Kakarot. Be glad we are whole again, as we were meant to be.”_

__

Goku had known Vegeta for a long time, but he could count the number of times they’d had a moment that quiet and intimate on the fingers of one hand. And if it had been because of their tails, then there must be something Goku was missing. He just wished like hell he wasn’t so scared of the Oozaru transformation. 

He’d killed his grandfather because of his tail. To harm anyone else he loved, now that he knew his tail could make him lose control like that - it would be unbearable.

“Goku!” Krillin thunked an arm cheerfully against Goku’s ribcage to get his attention. “Why the long face? This is a party, remember?”

Goku smiled down at his best friend, feeling the soft fuzz of relief cloud his head. Krillin had seen Goku’s Oozaru transformation years ago, and he’d never wavered. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as Goku was thinking from his fight against Vegeta in ape form all those years ago.

“Thanks, Krillin,” Goku’s bangs tickled his nose as he shook his head to clear it, “I guess I did need a reminder about that. You all leave any food for me?”

“Us!” Krillin shook his head, chuckling. “You know the only one here who could eat enough food to get in your way is Vegeta!”

The light was fading to dusk, and Capsule Corp’s outdoor lighting softened everything. Nearer the building, tables were still laden with food. 

“Huh, guess he did.” Goku pushed away from the tree, fell into step next to Krillin to rejoin the others. “Bulma sure does know Saiyan appetites.”

“How could she not, by now?” It was a throwaway comment, Krillin clearly taking it for given. Goku felt something in his gut relax. Being Saiyan wasn’t new. Even his tail wasn’t new. There was no reason to think anything would change. Not for the worse, anyway.

“Goku!” Bulma came beaming to meet him, cradling a sleepy Bulla in her arms. The balloon trailed precariously behind, still cycling through its brilliant rainbow of colors. 

“Hey, Bulma!” Goku marveled at how she never seemed to run out of enthusiasm, “you sure can throw a party!”

Bulma rolled her eyes, bounced Bulla into a slightly more supported position. “Sure can, Goku. You should try showing up more often.”

“Yeah,” Goku pushed a laugh out, ran his hand through hair again. The cool evening breeze felt nice against his skin. “I’ll try to remem—“

The breeze pushed aside the cloud cover in Goku’s line of sight, revealing a moon that was brilliantly bright and— 

Kami, was it _full?_

Fingers to his forehead, Goku teleported from Capsule Corp. No explanation. He chose a location far away from any ki he could detect, dropped to his knees on the damp ground. His breath shuddered in his chest, each inhale shallower than the last. The dark shapes of trees spun around him and he curled inwards hoping that would make everything just _stop_.

A full moon. A Saiyan with a tail and no control of his Oozaru form. Kami, a party full of Goku’s dearest friends and family. He pushed his cheek against the dirt, clenched his fists in his gi near his knees. Still shuddering, head spinning. What if that spinning feeling was the transformation? He might go back, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. Goku’s breath caught, paused, the spinning increasing. They were all in danger, and they had no idea. Like his grandfather had no idea. 

Goku’s face felt wet, he gasped in some air then was paralyzed again. But his grandfather had known, hadn’t he? He’d warned Goku to stay inside. But Goku hadn’t listened. He hasn’t listened, and he’d killed him, and Kami what if Krillin or Bulma or Kami-forbid even Bulla— 

“Kakarot!” Vegeta’s fist curled painfully in Goku’s hair. “Kakarot. Get the fuck up!”

“Can’t,” Goku tried to tell him, but only wheezed. No air for the word.

Sighing sharply, Vegeta dragged Goku into a sitting position using the fist in his hair for leverage. It stung, and Goku grunted. Tried to squint at Vegeta, but Vegeta was blurry for some reason.

“You’re a disgrace,” Vegeta told him roughly. It took Goku a moment to realize Vegeta was tugging softly at Goku’s wrists, pulling Goku’s arms away from their vice-grip around his orange-clad knees. When had he gotten into that position? 

“The moon,” Goku said, but it came out too soft. Something was wrong with his throat, it wasn’t working right. 

“The _moon_?” Vegeta’s eyebrows drew together. He glowered. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Goku’s chest felt more open now that Vegeta had forced his arms to unclench, and Goku pulled air into his lungs. It took a lot more concentration than breathing normally did. “The moon is _full_ , Vegeta!”

“The hell it is,” Vegeta glanced at the sky in irritation. Goku grabbed Vegeta’s chin without thinking and hauled his gaze downward. The lower angle gave Goku a great view of Vegeta’s incredulous expression. “Don’t be so familiar, Kakarot!”

“It’s full!” Goku tried to pack his panic into those two words, since he couldn’t think straight to form a sentence. The moon was full, and that meant Goku could lose control of his strength in a heartbeat. “Vegeta, who could stop me?”

They stayed stunned like that for a beat, Goku’s hand cupping Vegeta’s chin while Goku’s breath came out in desperate pants. Goku felt cold with fear. That was the thing, wasn’t it? Goku was strongest, and if he lost control of his strength he could destroy everything he had always fought to protect. His worst nightmare. 

“Overconfident bastard,” Vegeta slapped Goku’s hand away. His face was all sharp angry lines. “You forget yourself. I have far more experience than you fighting in Oozaru form. You’d barely last a minute.”

That actually sounded pretty plausible. Damp from the ground had soaked through Goku’s gi as he kneeled. Breathing didn’t require conscious effort anymore. 

“Besides that,” Vegeta straightened to crouch in a more upright position, no longer gripping Goku’s biceps, “besides that, Kakarot, the moon is _not_ full, and if you had any true experience listening to your Saiyan instincts you would understand that.”

“But the light—“

“It is _nearly_ full, Kakarot, but the true full moon is two nights yet.” Vegeta shook his head. “You think I’d risk a transformation during Bulla’s party?” He grinned. “I’d never hear the end of that from Bulma.”

A chuckle slipped out of Goku at the image that brought. He winced and eyed Vegeta through his bangs, wondering if that was a little too close to laughing at the other Saiyan. But Vegeta was still calm, posture relaxed and tail flicking lazily against the ground.

So maybe he’d over reacted. Goku let out a gust of breath, felt the slight pull at his chest lingering. His breathing had really been messed up earlier. He closed his eyes and pushed to his feet, shook out all his muscles. His tailed slipped from around his waist to curve behind him, and he felt tension easing there too. He’d really been a mess. 

Vegeta moved silently in his form-fitting armor, but even with eyes closed Goku felt him draw near. Warmth, scent, and ki all gave the motion away. They were standing with barely an inch between their chests now. Goku kept his eyes closed and focused on keeping his breathing slow and steady, wondering what Vegeta was up to.

“You really were terrified.” Vegeta was so close that Goku felt the breath on his collar-bone. He felt a pull to be closer still, jolted when his tail brushed Vegeta’s arm. Goku hadn’t realized he’d moved it.

Opening his eyes, Goku tipped his head down to look Vegeta full in the face. They hadn’t been this close outside battle before, and it made Goku’s skin tingle in a pleasant way. He licked his lips 

Vegeta frowned, then reached his hand up to close it around the back of Goku’s neck. It was a hold that could kill if Vegeta chose it, but Goku suddenly felt the tension drain from him. He sighed in relief and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Vegeta’s. Breathed in the other Saiyan’s scent, and felt safe. 

“Perhaps I should have explained,” the tone was unusually gentle for Vegeta, “you have no idea idea what you’re saying with your tail right now, do you?”

Goku’s tail was curled around Vegeta’s waist. It hadn’t been a conscious motion. For now Goku was too exhausted to feel embarrassment. “I can guess.”

“Can you? You’re awfully calm about it.”

“I’d guess,” Goku hesitated, wondering if he was about to cross a line, “I’d guess I’m being a bit possessive right now.”

A sharp bark of laughter from Vegeta. “Possessive. I suppose that’s close enough.” He drew back to meet Goku’s eyes, hand still firm on Goku’s neck. “I’m not yours to possess, Kakarot.”

“No,” Goku let the words fall, “I guess you’re Bulma’s at the moment.”

The air was still between them, though the trees rustled softly overhead. “Perhaps you do understand then, Kakarot.” Vegeta released Goku’s neck, stepped back. Goku felt as if cool air spilled into the gap, though it was just the loss of close body heat. “Our tails are a part of us, and they’re part of our expressions.” A shake of his head. “It’s not something human.”

“I think I understand.” Goku did think he finally might. They weren’t human. Not even in how they felt and expressed emotion. Their tails were a physical aspect of that he’d never really had, but now viscerally felt. To remove it really would be cutting off a limb, a part of himself.

A part of himself that only he and Vegeta could really understand. 

Vegeta stepped back further, holding Goku’s gaze. Gave a single decisive nod. “Just remember, Kakarot.” He turned and Goku felt Vegeta’s ki rise in preparation for flight, then Vegeta looked over his shoulder at Goku. “And find me tomorrow. I have some things to teach you about Oozaru.” 

The flare of Vegeta’s ki was brilliant in the dark forest, and Goku blinked to clear his eyes for a moment after Vegeta took off. He could learn. Maybe even learn to control himself the way Vegeta could, if Vegeta was willing to teach him.

And that possessiveness, that probably wasn’t going anywhere soon. That warm tension would be staying too. Goku smiled. Seeing that clearly was probably the best thing to come out of this night’s mess. 

For now, though, he had his friends and family and their party to get back to. Since Vegeta had been here, there was probably even some food left.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do I really have to wear this, Vegeta?” Kakarot was tugging at the neck of his battlesuit. “It’s _really_ tight.”

It was tight. Vegeta could see every muscle in Kakarot’s body outlined in the skintight fabric, far more than Kakarot’s ridiculous orange gi revealed. He had to fight the impulse to lick his lips. Bulma had, of course, perfectly replicated the stretching ability of his original battle suit, which meant that Vegeta had been able to lend Kakarot his clothing for this training session. That thought was doing things to his stomach that Vegeta was firmly ignoring.

“For the last time, Kakarot, yes you have to wear it,” Vegeta growled, “unless you’d prefer to strip naked for our practice?”

Kakarot frowned and Vegeta realized in horror that the idiot actually might prefer that. He’d certainly never exhibited any shame in their time training with Whis. Using the hot pools there. Vegeta swallowed, and brought his thoughts back to the present. The heat he felt was surely just the sun beating down on them.

“It can’t be that uncomfortable, Kakarot, it’s designed to stretch. That’s the whole point.”

“Yeah,” Kakarot was tugging on one of the gloves now, and what the hell was _wrong_ with Vegeta’s stomach today. He focused on Kakarot’s face instead, and realized Kakarot’s lips were pressed into an uncharacteristically grim line. He looked paler than usual, too, and his tail twisted uneasily behind him.

So that was it.

“Stop delaying, Kakarot,” Vegeta crossed his arms and glared, “you wanted to train your control in Oozaru form. Don’t waste my time by getting cold feet now.”

“Sorry, Vegeta,” Kakarot ducked his head. Vegeta almost worried at how subdued he seemed today. Then Kakarot met Vegeta’s eyes, jaw set, “I’m ready.”

“Finally,” Vegeta muttered. He took a few steps back from Kakarot, making space between them. The wind howled past. They’d chosen a barren rocky landscape that looked just like the one where they’d first battled. For all Vegeta knew, it was the same place.

“Vegeta?” Kakarot sounded puzzled, “why are you going way over there to-“

Vegeta gathered his ki into a visible ball, wrapped around his fist. Ready to throw. 

And Kakarot howled and crumpled to the ground in a ball.

“Dammitall,” Vegeta hissed, releasing his ki. He stomped over to Kakarot. “What the hell are you doing down there?”

Kakarot didn’t answer. He was breathing so loudly Vegeta could hear him without even crouching down. Useless wheezing noises like he’d been making four nights ago.

Well, shit.

“Kakarot,” Vegeta crouched down, tried to make his voice gentle. He reached out to grip Kakarot’s shoulder, but got no response. “Kakarot, snap out of it.”

When Kakarot still didn’t respond, Vegeta shook him, growling in frustration. The jolt did something, finally. Kakarot uncurled slightly, and Vegeta saw his eyes were wide but unfocused.

“Where the hell is your head at, Kakarot?” Vegeta punctuated the question with another hard shake of Kakarot’s shoulder.

Kakarot blinked, finally focusing on Vegeta. His expression twisted into a furious scowl, and Vegeta jerked backward in surprise. 

“What were you thinking, Vegeta?” Kakarot sounded shaky, and Vegeta thought his eyes looked oddly bright. He watched as Kakarot pushed himself into a sitting position, hunched inward. “What the hell kind of lesson was that? You didn’t explain a single damned thing!”

“Explain? What the hell is there to explain?” It was an Oozaru transformation, for Kami’s sake.

Kakarot balled his hands into fists. “Anything! You said more than that about Oozaru when we fought as enemies!”

“You already know all that now-“

“At least tell me why you can keep control!” Kakarot cut Vegeta off in his frustration, “there must be some kind of training you did!”

Training? Vegeta’s only training for Oozaru had been repetition, his father sending him to planets in need of purging and near to the full moon over, and over, and over again. He didn’t know when he’d started remembering, then controlling, his Oozaru actions. 

“There’s no shortcut, Kakarot,” Vegeta snapped. “You’ll just have to practice until you learn for yourself.”

Kakarot crumpled further inward. Vegeta couldn’t see his face from this angle, with Kakarot’s thick bangs falling forward.

“I can’t, Vegeta,” Kakarot’s voice cracked, “I can’t let happen to anybody else what happened to my grandpa.”

“You never knew your - you mean your earth guardian.”

Kakarot raised his head to glower at Vegeta, “I mean my _grandpa_ ”

“You said something about him that first time,” Vegeta’s memory was vague, “when we fought.”

A slight curve to Kakarot’s mouth. He was sitting more easily now, cross-legged on the ground. “I’m surprised you remember even that much.”

Vegeta didn’t comment that the only reason he’d filed even that much away was a search for weaknesses to exploit. Just as well the old man had been long dead.

When Vegeta remained silent, Kakarot sighed and patted the rocky ground next to himself. “Sit down for a bit?”

“What the hell will that accomplish?” That got a frown. “Fine.”

The ground all looked equally uncomfortable, so Vegeta chose a position where he was arm's length from Kakarot, able to see his face at an angle. Kakarot tipped his head to the side, smiling. “I won’t bite, Vegeta.”

No, but his tail might get familiar. Or Vegeta’s might. It had been hard to appear uninterested in Kakarot’s slip up the other evening.

“And?” Vegeta drummed his fingers against the knee of one crossed leg, “why are we sitting instead of training?” 

Kakarot examined the ground in front of him. His tailed twisted in embarrassment. The pause stretched. 

“Whatever the hell you’re embarrassed about, Kakarot, either spit it out or drop it so we can get back to training.”

Kakarot started. “How could you tell?”

“Your tail.” Vegeta stared at Kakarot’s blank expression. “You have no idea how much you’re broadcasting, do you?”

“No.” Kakarot shook his head. “Sometimes when you let your tail move around I get the feeling it means things, but I never pay much attention to mine.” He tugged at one of his gloves again. “It never seemed to mean anything, back when I was a kid.”

Vegeta watched as Kakarot’s tail curled around Kakarot’s leg, wrapped tightly in a gesture that screamed a need for comfort. He’d dropped his head again, hair hiding his eyes. Vegeta hesitated a moment, then shifted closer to Kakarot on the ground, and let his own tail unwrap from his waist.

“Spit it out, Kakarot,” Vegeta placed a hand gingerly on Kakarot’s shoulder. 

Kakarot let out his breath in a shudder, and his tail transferred its grip to Vegeta’s ankle. Not possessive this time, just seeking reassurance. 

“I stepped on my grandpa,” Kakarot sounded so very fragile. “I stepped on my grandpa and I… I killed him.” 

Vegeta froze, noting in alarm that Kakarot now smelled of salt. Tears. Shit.

“You couldn’t have known, Kakarot,” Vegeta cautiously patted the shoulder he’d placed a hand on, “You didn’t know about the transformation.”

“But I did,” Kakarot had raised his face to meet Vegeta’s eyes, and that was much worse. Before Vegeta had at least been able to pretend his rival wasn’t crying. “My grandpa told me,” Kakarot continued, “he told me to stay inside on nights when the moon was full, because a giant ape came out those nights, and I didn’t listen to him.”

Fuck. Vegeta could feel Kakarot shaking. He was a mess. Had he been bottling all this in when he first saw Vegeta transform when they fought, and he realized what must have happened to his grandpa?

“You still didn’t know, Kakarot,” Vegeta removed his hand and glanced away, unable to look at all that raw emotion any longer. “He told you that you would be in danger if you went out, not that he would.”

“Oh.” Kakarot fell silent, and Vegeta felt the grip of Kakarot’s tail on his ankle loosen. When it remained silent, he risked a glance back at Kakarot.

The oaf actually looked better. He’d wiped his face and stopped leaking, and Vegeta noted that Kakarot’s breath was coming normally again.

Had he actually managed to be comforting?

Kakarot caught his gaze and smiled weakly. “Thanks, Vegeta.”

Vegeta grunted.

Kakarot’s smile faded, replaced by a grim expression. “But I know now. That’s it’s me who’s the danger, I mean.”

“Which is why we came out here to train,” Vegeta snapped.

“I still don’t think that was training.” Kakarot frowned. “Can you at least tell me what it feels like, or something?” 

“It feels,” Vegeta hesitated, “it feels red.”

Kakarot’s tail flicked the ground. Curiosity had replaced his earlier distress. 

“Red. I guess that’s a start.” Kakarot flowed gracefully to a standing position, holding out a hand to Vegeta. Vegeta brushed it away in irritation as he stood. He needed no help.

He was surprised to see Kakarot grin, then realized where his gaze was. Shit, Vegeta had left his tail uncoiled. 

“You wanted to accept that hand,” Kakarot was fucking teasing him, and Vegeta hissed. He had to reign in the urge to punch Kakarot in his stupid face when the idiot swallowed a laugh at the sight of Vegeta’s tail bristling. 

“Laugh it up, Kakarot,” Vegeta moved away, returning his tail to its position around his waist before it could reveal anything else. “Next time we meet for training, I’m not letting you off without transforming.”

“Yeah.” Kakarot’s amusement faded. “Until next time, Vegeta.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I decided to add several chapters to this! The chapter count estimate shouldn’t change too much.


End file.
